Kevin Johnson

Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 10.19.15

* A must-have for all those Biglaw overachievers gunning for partner. [Next Shark] * Racists don't even know how to racist right. [Wonkette] * To recap acceptable responses to tickets: writing on the ticket “FUCK YOUR SHITTY TOWN BITCHES” = totally fine; wiping your butt with the ticket and throwing it at the police officer = not okay. [The Smoking Gun] * Welp, this is an interesting clause to stick into a settlement agreement. [Deadspin] * Maybe, just maybe, the Supreme Court will weigh in on the student debt crisis. [Bloomberg Business] * Is it possible to make your writing benchslap-proof? [Legal Writing Pro] * It's best to be vague yet forceful when trying to escape new Biglaw work. [Daily Lawyer Tips]

By Kathryn Rubino
4th Circuit

Morning Docket: 07.12.13

* You’ve seen Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg give Justice Antonin Scalia the finger in prose, but now you can hear what it would sound like in operatic form as composed by a recent law school graduate. [NPR] * The Fourth Circuit upheld Obamacare’s employer mandate against Liberty University, calling it a constitutional tax, just like the individual mandate. Now’s a perfect time for a sip of Campari. [WSJ Law Blog] * The Fried Frank toner bandit was sent to the slammer, but alas, it’s unlikely that the firm will be able to recover any of its losses. Too bad, it could use the cash after its 2012 performance. [Am Law Daily] * Crisis? What crisis? The dean of UC Davis Law refuses to trim class size, but that doesn’t really matter — the application cycle is handling the situation quite nicely. [Sacramento Business Journal] * Pennsylvania’s Attorney General Kathleen Kane won’t defend the state against a lawsuit seeking to overturn its ban on same-sex marriage. She’s choosing the people over politics. [New York Times] * With his trial quickly drawing to a close, George Zimmerman is growing increasingly worried about his future. Let’s face it, even if he’s acquitted, living in hiding isn’t a very good look for him. [ABC News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Biglaw

Morning Docket: 03.09.12

* With its lawsuit dismissed, Jacoby & Meyers won’t be accepting non-lawyer equity investments in New York any time soon. Not even from used Mercedes-Benz dealers. [New York Law Journal] * Former Quarles & Brady partner Jeffrey Elverman has been sentenced to five years of probation for swindling money from a little old lady. Does that count toward PPP? [Journal Sentinel] * K&L Gates is suing a casino in Macau to recover client funds that were gambled away by former partner Navin Kumar Aggarwal. Silly Biglaw firm. Don’t you know the house always wins? [Am Law Daily] * “I am not a lawyer. I’m a server. Lawyers do lawyer things. Lawyers work at law firms. Lawyers do public policy work… Lawyers don’t serve pizza.” Ah, the plight of the New York Law School graduate. [CBS News] * Cooley Law: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. A former student’s suit over the school’s alleged attempt to keep him from transferring was dismissed this week. [National Law Journal]

By Staci Zaretsky